This post was written by Patrick Riecke, director, Chaplaincy and Volunteer Services. It is the second installment of a three-part series.
It can be intimidating to visit someone at a modern hospital. The same could be said for navigating the emotional and relational questions that come with having a loved one or close friend in the hospital. Consider these suggestions for things we can sometimes do when we visit to help that person through their care journey.
Tip No. 1 – Stay until it’s over
If you have ever stayed with someone until their procedure is over, you know the relief that can come to them once the clinical team declares the all-clear. Maybe they’ve made it through surgery or the test result came back and it’s good news. If you’re there, you can share in their relief.
If things didn’t go as smoothly, they might need you to help them through whatever comes next.
At other times, stay until it’s over means something very different. A majority of deaths in our culture happen in a healthcare facility. Even a hospital with a pleasing environment can’t compare to being at home in your last days. However, having people who love and support us nearby can bring a little bit of home into the hospital.
If you have ever stayed until someone took their last breath, you know how powerful it is — for them, and for you.
Tip No. 2 – Be their advocate
I can remember one time being with a family member in the hospital. He’d been there for several days. He was out of bed and sitting in a chair. He was uncomfortable. He told us that the staff had forgotten a cushion he often used when he was in the chair, but he was too tired to make this simple request. It was easy enough for me to step outside the room to the nursing station and ask for the pillow.
It wasn’t that the nurse didn’t care or was unwilling. It was a simple oversight that was easily corrected by a supportive person advocating for him.
Sometimes what the patient needs is much more complicated. They need a second opinion. Or they need to feel they are being respected as a person.
Sometimes, when we make a visit, we can advocate for the patient in these ways.
Tip No. 3 – Ask deep questions
Everyone is asking how they are feeling. They probably have had to tell the story of why they ended up in the hospital 100 times already.
Instead, sometimes we need to ask questions that go below the surface.
How are you doing, really?
You’ve experienced quite a lot physically. How are you doing emotionally and spiritually?
What are you asking God for?
Do you feel like you are being treated well here?
What are your fears right now?
Just asking one of these deeper questions can sometimes increase the impact of your visit significantly.
Tip No. 4 – Refer to another professional
Chances are that the medical team is doing a great job caring for the physical needs of the patient. Medication is being given, procedures have been performed, discharge instructions have been given.
However, what if the person has spiritual questions about what is happening to them? Or the finances are becoming overwhelming? Or they feel themselves beginning to experience depression or anxiety?
That might be a good time for a family member or friend to recommend talking with a professional, counselor, the finance counseling department at the hospital, a pastor or other spiritual advisor.
Making that handoff might seem obvious to you, but the patient who is not feeling their best, and navigating everything medically, might need your help in pointing out these other resources.
If you always do the seven things in the first video in this series, and sometimes take these four actions, you can be confident that you will have an effective hospital visit.
