Helpful tools for finding meaning in life

This post was written by Richard Hite, PhD, Psychiatry, Psychology, Parkview Behavioral Health Institute.

I recently saw an issue of National Geographic inviting readers to explore “100 Places That Will Change Your Life.”  Who wouldn’t want to experience locations that meaningful? But the truth is, you don’t need to travel to faraway places to find more purpose and awe in life.

Change and our quest for meaning

You’ve likely heard the saying that the only constant is change, and it’s true. Humans have been searching for meaning, happiness, well-being and fulfillment since the start of our recorded history, and this search nearly always involves responding to or creating change, either positive or negative.

One way to think about it, is that change is the way we get from one place to another. It’s the force, the push, the ability, that when we can use it productively, moves us forward.
 

What the research says

One clue to what makes life meaningful is found in the world’s longest study on well-being and happiness, the Harvard Medical School’s 85-year study following a large group of adults (and now their children) to understand development and healthy aging (detailed in the book “The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness” by Robert Waldinger MD). Not surprisingly, this study has found that our sense of happiness and well-being is impacted by how well we can take care of our health and how strongly we feel that we have a sense of ownership and understanding over what is involved in staying as healthy as possible.

What has been surprising in all the years of studying this group on what creates greater satisfaction, has been the power of the warmth, depth and presence of connections, the relationships with others and ourselves. It’s interpersonal functioning, or relationship functioning, that drives change toward meaningfulness and happiness. 

In other words, the main takeaway from the years of data in the Harvard study is that the best investment for well-being, meaningfulness and a satisfying life is to be proactive in taking care of our relationships.
 

The recipe for a fulfilling life

The field of positive psychology focuses on what makes life meaningful. This strength-based body of research and practical applications is best summarized by the theory of well-being first organized by Martin Seligman in 2011 under the abbreviation of “PERMA.” 

To have a fulfilling and “good” life, we need to focus at some level on all five of the core ingredients that make up the “recipe” for happiness. Well-being requires awareness, understanding and proactive change in:

Positive Emotions

Engagement

Positive Relationships

Meaning

Accomplishments 
 

Core values and strengths

To take better control of what makes life worth living, we first need to understand the core values and strengths we most comfortably and successfully use each day. Unlike our physical traits and skills, these strengths are not always visible to us and easily monitored.

To learn more about your core values (also referred to as Signature Strengths) there is a highly-researched and free-to-complete measure called Values in Action (VIA), which has been completed now more than 15 million times. It’s available to all to take online at the University of Pennsylvania’s site for the study of well-being and happiness. Once you have a better understanding of your key strengths, there are many exercises/activities you can proactively engage in to bring about change in meaningfulness.
 

Connecting with awe

One amazing aspect of the study of meaningfulness is the uncovering of the power of awe and wonder. You can travel to those 100 places National Geographic highlighted. You can stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and marvel at the splendor in front of you. But the true power of awe, which can indeed be found in distant places and special occasions, is that it’s possible to find awe each day, in all the small places, too. 

The experience of awe is about self-transcendence, that higher level of realization and achievement. Awe is looking and taking the time in the moment to notice more carefully. Awe facilitates an aspect of perspective and effort to understand our experiences. In savoring awe, there is the perceived sense of vastness, the awareness that we are just a part of something bigger.

In reacting to awe, change comes about as we strive to accommodate and integrate the experience into our view of the world and our role. Savoring awe has been shown to:

• Increase our positive emotions.
• Replace isolation with greater connection and engagement.
• Increase our pro-social positive relationships with others.
• Expand meaning and satisfaction by looking beyond self.
• Promote feelings of accomplishment with the greater sense of balance.

 

Establishing an awe-inspiring practice

To find greater meaningfulness, focus on these four areas:

• Practice building and strengthening relationships. (Connection)
• Recognize and expand positive emotions. (Pleasure)
• Use the experience of flow and the focus of mindfulness. (Engagement)
• Anchor meaning and purpose in your life. (Meaning)  

If you’re looking for some habits or practices to begin injecting more awe into your daily routine, here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Take an awe walk – Go for a walk in a natural, urban or indoor setting, and try to be present and open to what's around you. You can try to notice things that are unexpected, complex or surprising, and ask yourself questions about what you’re experiencing. Try leaving your phone at home to avoid distractions. 
   
• Listen to music – Listening to music can evoke feelings of awe, especially if it's beautiful or complex. Listen to a symphony, sing in a choir or play an instrument. 
   
• Watch a video – Watch awe-inspiring videos on the internet, such as videos of Yosemite National Park or speeches and performances on YouTube. You can also draw from your own photos or videos if you've been to awe-inspiring places. 
   
• Journal – You can try writing in a journal using the prompt "I wonder." Write a sentence, paragraph, poem or list and see where it takes you. 
   
• Find inspiration – Try finding people who inspire you, such as dancers, singers, athletes or thinkers. You can also read biographies or watch talks by people with interesting stories. 
   
• Practice mindfulness – Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness programs can help you reduce stress, improve your quality of life and develop skills for managing emotions. (Check out some of our videos on bringing mindfulness into your home, behind the wheel and parenting.)