This post was written based on a presentation given by Matthew Runyan, MD, PPG – Psychiatry at Parkview’s Men’s Health Expo.
Taking care of our mental health is just as important as taking care of our physical health. From young children to older adults, protecting our mental health is something we should all make a priority. Having a game plan of how to deal with our smaller frustrations and anxieties can help us mitigate those feelings before they turn into a bigger crisis. Here are three simple steps that you can work on today, to help you maintain your mental health going forward.
Step 1: Have a person
Before you are stressed out or in crisis, take some time to think about the support systems around you. If you were having a tough time, who would you talk to? It could be a family member, friend, spouse or coworker. You might even identify different people who could support you in different scenarios. Keep that person or persons in your mind. It’s good to know where you can go to get support and a listening ear before you really need it, so when you start to feel anxious or stressed out, you know reflexively where to turn.
It's also a good idea to take the time to quickly confirm with your person that they are willing to listen if you are having a hard time. When you’re together, ask, “if I’m stressed out or if something is going on in my life, can I talk to you?” They’ll likely say yes, and already knowing you’ve had that quick affirmation often makes it easier to approach that person later on when you do have an issue that you need help talking through.
Step 2: Never worry alone
When we feel worried or anxious about something we are full of emotions, and stewing on all those feelings by ourselves often makes situations worse. When you are feeling worried or stressed about a situation—big or small—find a person you can talk it through with. It could be your person from step one, or it could be someone who is experienced in the situation you’re going through. If you are stressed about work, find a coworker who understands. If you’re worried about a parenting issue, find another parent who’s dealt with something similar. The bigger the issue is, the more important it is to share.
Step 3: Listen, don’t hear
Have you ever been in a conversation where you can tell the other person isn’t really listening to you? It can be frustrating. It’s important to have people to talk to who are good listeners and to be that person for those around you. Listening is an active skill—it is learned and it takes practice and energy. It requires hearing what the other person says, taking in how that impacts them and how it impacts you, and then deciding what to say back. If you are someone’s support person, listening is crucial. Think about how it would feel if you went to someone for help with something stressful in your life and they didn’t listen to you. You wouldn’t want to open up to that person, or maybe even to anyone, again. So, remember to practice being a good, active listener.
If you are someone you know needs help, call the PBHI HelpLine at 260-471-9440 or toll free at 800-284-8439, anytime 24 hours a day. Our experienced specialists can answer your questions, provide recommendations and help arrange care.
