This post was written by Tim O'Sullivan, MA, spiritual and social services supervisor, Parkview Hospice.
Coping with the death of a loved one can be difficult. There may be times when you don't feel like talking or sharing your emotions simply because you are trying to get through the day. However, certain conversations cannot wait. Below are a few discussion topics you and your family should have with a loved one near the end of their life.
"What do you need?"
When asking this question, remember it's about your loved one's wishes, not your own. Help them envision what they would like their last days to look like. Where do they want to be? Who do they want to be with? What atmosphere would bring them comfort? Continue revisiting this question as their condition evolves.
"Remember when?"
Listen to your loved one as they talk about the moments in life that mattered most to them. Help them recall their most significant accomplishments and talk about the important things they did that sometimes went unnoticed.
"Thank you."
Thank your loved one for the time they gave you, for special memories, for something they taught you or for something they did for you.
"I love you."
Many people express their love through different acts, but it can also be done through words and conversations. Tell your loved one you love them and recognize the times they made you feel loved.
"I forgive you."
If differences have existed between you and your loved one, consider forgiving them. Sometimes, the things that separate us seem so small as life grows short. If they offer you forgiveness, receive it, whether real or perceived. This is no time for exploring justice or fault-finding.
"Goodbye."
This is the most difficult conversation to have. Explore what leaving this life means to your loved one and what they believe happens beyond this existence. If they cannot communicate, let them know that you will be okay and that they can leave when the time is right.
Closing remarks
Although having these conversations may feel challenging, knowing you've addressed them will be one less worry at the time of their passing. For more information about hospice and palliative care services or a patient referral to Parkview Hospice, please call 260-368-5111 or 260-368-5146. You can also complete our online form here.
